Be thankful you’re not the woman melting down and aggressively cutting everyone in the security line–but know that that woman totally exists inside of you. And more gems, after the jump!
On Sunday I Instagrammed a cry for help in the form of a drab coconut popsicle, the sad caption reading: my only friend. This dramatic statement is far from the truth, but in that moment, as everyone in NYC appeared deeply invested in something called the World Cup with their pals, and I sat alone in my apartment clogged with snot and overwhelming angst, it felt true.
Inspired by the brilliant Meh List published every week in The Sunday Magazine of The New York Times, I thought I’d start crafting my own, in a similar spirit to the Dear Diary posts.
“Write normcore on a post it note and have someone shit on it. Call it art.” Sorry if you’ve been holding your breath, but my self-directed-real-talk is BACK, and it’s pretty extensive to make up for lost time.
“Try not to freeze up like a nervous ten year old when attractive strangers get into elevators with you. This is not TV–you’re not about to make out.” And more wise words from me to myself, after the jump…
“When you say things like, “Kim Kardashian has become decidedly less Birkin, more Stock,” don’t expect other people to understand.” I don’t mean to brag, BUT–this may be one of the best Dear Diary’s yet.
Trying to assign one lifestyle or worldview to an entire generation of people is bound to be faulty, but EliteDaily really wins the award for hitting the ball farthest out of the park. Actually, I’m not even sure they’re starting in the park—they’re somewhere far outside it, seemingly locked in the basements of their college frat house (a land where tales of Taylor Swift’s de-virginizer moonlight as worthwhile news).
“Never, ever smile for a guy who asks “why aren’t you smiling?” Because I don’t want to, and my vagina doesn’t come with a permanent smile, shithead.” And more real-talk-ridiculousness, after the jump.