Today is the two-year anniversary of this blog and ugh…what a bittersweet anniversary it is. For those who don’t know me personally and haven’t heard, my 58 year old father, Craig Schiffer, was killed in an avalanche while skiing in Val Turens, France on Monday. I am devastated. Even after a long week of repeatedly facing this harshest of realities, it is all quite surreal, and will probably continue to be that way for a while. I oscillate between feeling totally numb to feeling sick and stricken, wanting to rail against the situation until it just goes away. My dad would want me to be strong, though, so I am doing my best in his honor, and for the sake of my amazing, freakishly tough stepmother and four beautiful siblings. I am so thankful, at least, to be surviving through this nightmare with them–we have always been super close, and this will only increase that tenfold. That would thrill my Dad and I know he is looking down on us with pride from whatever strange union of heaven and hell he has created for himself (he was a passionate man and a control freak–there is no way he’d simply choose one or the other).
This is not by any means my ultimate tribute to my father–there is so much I want and need to say. However, I am waiting to share most of those special thoughts at his service, as well as allowing myself this time to just be…to let these important remembrances come together over time. Like he would, I want them to be perfect, and while that may be impossible, he is certainly worthy of the attempt.
My dad was one of my biggest fans and most avid supporters, and I really cannot put into words how much that meant to me. We were incredibly similar in a lot of ways, which in any relationship is both a blessing and a curse, but my love and adoration of him was fierce and never-ending. Everything I write from now on will be in his honor and I so hope to continue making him proud–to always push myself, to always run towards the fears rather than away from them and to shamelessly live my life to the fullest. He did all of that with more verve than anyone else I know and it was infectious to even the meekest folks in his orbit. Craiggy, we have all taken that torch out of your hands and will do everything in our power to carry it through to the finish.