A list of people I do not trust, some more valid than others:
- People who walk on their toes.
- People who describe others only as “cool,” and with too much frequency.
- People who like radishes, by themselves.
- People who don’t like to dance.
- People who “love giving blow jobs.”
- People who talk throughout a movie.
- People who never talk about anyone, ever.
- People who don’t like chocolate.
- People who mention Paradise Lost in casual conversation.
- People who pretend Vogue is interesting.
- People who pretend there’s something special about Kale.
- People who walk too slow.
- People who treat every sentence like a Scrabble game.
- People who make out ferociously on crowded subways.
- People whose sneakers stay bright white.
- People who don’t brush their teeth with regularity.
- People who wear too much color.
- People who don’t like gin.
- People (female) who orgasm “every time.”
- People who are only children.
- Blake Lively.
Categories: Uncategorized